(In)Sane, day 1

So, first day of my production, "(in)sane" is over.

This time the crew consists of my friend Theresa and I, and two actors.

Everything went quite well today. Took some time to get started, but when we first got started, everything went smoothly. Every take was perfect, so after just 2 or 3 takes of each shot, we're on to the next one.

We shot the two most difficult and intense scenes of the movie today.
Before we started shooting, I was super nervous about how everything would work out, since we hadn't actually met the actors, but they did a great job.

Due to some problem with the shower, we couldn't shoot the shower scene today, but that will be done tomorrow.
The hotel we're borrowing are really friendly. We're staying there for free, and they let os borrow another room tomorrow for the shower scene. Super!

Here are some fun photos of Theresa and I from today. ;D

Trying out the mirror effect

Theresa

"Alexis" and I

"I'm on to you!"

"This is AWESOME!"

Looking forwards to day two of shooting tomorrow! :D

Film update

Here's a quick filmupdate!

I'm doing a short film for my exam in school. I'm making it alone though with help from a good friend of mine outside of school. 


I thought it was going to be hard finding actors and location, since we're only two people making the project, and we're making it for my school. But things went much more smoothly than expected.

We didn't have a room to do casting in, so we decided to get people to send us videos of themselves and casting them over skype. A bit tricky, and we knew alone that would keep some from answering.
7 actors replied the the mail I sent out, and they all seem really cool. Deciding tonight who to use.

Location was a bit more difficult. 3 locations are needed:
- Bedroom & bathroom
- Dark room for a hospital
- Park & street
Park and street is obvious. The dark room was found pretty quickly too, since Theresa (the other girl in my group) had a great cellar. The bedroom and bathroom was much more tricky, since non of us had the perfect room. We decided to write some hotels, though not thinking anyone would actually lend us a room, since we can't pay them, but two hotels replied that ofc we could lend a room. Great! One of them is Hotel Scandic, which is probably the one we're going to use. It's a 3-4 star hotel, and the rooms look great!

Besides that the only thing we need is equipment. Haha. But hopefully that won't be a problem. Lets hope!

We don't have a lot of time, actually it has to be done in about a week. So filming will take most of next week, and then we got the editing. Gonna be some looong nights, especially since non of us are 100% confident in Final Cut Pro. But I guess we'll learn.

So, here's a little update on my exam project. Will post the finished production, once in june, when the exam is over!

"Shut your ass"

Things just went from bad to super bad!

Can't stand this anymore. I feel so trapped. Trapped and confused about my own thoughts and feelings, what I should do and want to do, about love and hate.

I'm reaching the limit of what I can take. I can't do this anymore.
The fucking constant guilt feeling, the bad self esteem, the fucking constant fights, the harsh tone, I just can't take it anymore.

I was asked today if I was coming to a family easter lunch -thinger. And as soon as I said no, I was yelled at, so ofc I got angry and was then told: "shut your ass". Wow. I don't know what to think. What makes a parent use those words when talking to their child. I am simply in loss of words and thoughts.

I've got so much anger in me, I don't know what to do about it. For every day that goes by, I get more and more anger, and the love I'm supposed to have for my family is replaced by what feels like hate.

My life seems like it's just one ... bad/evil circle (or what ever the english expression would be. Danish: ond cirkle). Too much bad stuff going on, and almost no good stuff. Argh

Well, I decided I'm going to make a video blog soon, telling what my actual problem is, since many people don't know what is actually going on, but just my feelings.

>.<'
I need something good to happen to me! :(

The things you never say

It's funny, there's always something you really want to tell your parents, but don't. Something you time after time want to, but just can't get yourself to do.

When I was younger I think it was "I love you". I have a hard time saying those words sometimes, not because I don't mean it, just hard to say sometimes.
But now a days it's something else. Now a days it's "Fuck off!". Seriously, I just feel like saying it aaaall the time >.<' ,  but just can't get myself to say it!

"Freya", day 3

This was the final day of production.

I wanted to do this blog when I got home yesterday, but a barely got in the door before I fell a sleep!
The day started out pretty good. The weather was fantastic, I had gotten 5 hours of sleep, had a nice breakfast (well. It was ok ;D) and cleaned the studio/Station Next up before going to location.
Location was a bar/concert place called Stengade. I love that place, been there quite a few times, listening to music. We were filming the concert scene there, for our movie.
Everyone was really stressed out, and there was a lot of waiting =/ but we got everything we needed, and the actors did a fantastic job!
We had a band play there too, The Basterd Kind. Was nice with some music ;D!

It's been a really nice weekend, as usual. Love the team!! Can't wait to see the finished movie at the premiere, in the cinema when we're done. Yay.
But it's been a really tough weekend too. I got 7 hours of sleep in total from friday to sunday, and we did about 37 hours of production, with barely any breaks (of course we slept in between, but besides that).

Gonna post some pictures from the production on my facebook page, and when the movie is done I'll link to it!

Until that, I've got to finish my other filmproject.

"Freya", day 2

Day 2 of production - the loooong day.

After sleeping for 2 hours, I got up at 7am, having a quick breakfast and briefing with the others, then off to location. Meet there at 9am, which was a hospital. Luckily we were able to borrow the entire department of hospital + a bunch of equipment. Fantastic!

Shooting took forever and ever. Though as always people were concentrated and worked hard. Everyone was good at helping each other, but it took a long time. Lunch was the only break we had, and it was only about 20 mins, then go on. We finished out there at 6pm, then home to Station Next, have sone really nice Tai food, mhmm, and then shoot some outdoor scenes.
Took a hell of a long time to set up the lighting for that, so we ended up finishing at 1:30am. Wow.
But it's pretty good looking so far!

Off to bed as fast as I can, and maybe catch 5 hours of sleep... If I'm lucky.
But hey, no complaining Amanda - making movies is fantastic!

"Freya", day 1

First day of production. Always exciting!
We're filming the main production of our second year at Station Next.

Station Next is the filmschool I attend. Fantastic opportunity for young film-interested people. It's an after school activity, where we meet once a week and learn how to make movies, and make two productions a year. We're taught everything from directing a film to cinematography, lights, sound, editing, PR, etc etc. Besides that, we've got a lot of professional people helping us, in all three fases: pre-, production and post-production. It's a three-year film school, and I'm in my second year.

Well, we just finished day one. Met friday at 3pm and had to shoot a school concert scene, very stressful with all the small kids, but we managed. We finished filmin at that location at about 8pm, got back to Station Next, had a quick dinner, and then filming from 9pm to 11:30pm. Wow, looong day. And it was SHITTY cold out, buuut we managed. Nothing tea, blankets and a good mood can't help! =D

Bradley Cooper

I met Bradley Cooper today!

Usually hollywood stars never visit little boring Denmark, but today Bradley Cooper was here, introducing his new film "Limitless". Unfortunately I didn't get to see the movie, was totally sold out 2 hours after it was announced, but I turned up to take some pictures of him and people, and got one of him and me too.

I'm not that big a fan of him, not that I don't like his acting, thought it was brilliant in "The Hangover", but never really followed him before. But always exciting to see a famous person! =D

Then I can go home and dream about that one day being me, having 1000 people screaming at you, wanting to have your autograph and picture, haha. That would be awesome!

Oh well, here's a pic of me and him. I look a bit goofy though =D

And that wa the random blog of today!

Shower thoughts

I love taking showers. But what I love even more, is sitting on the floor in the shower, while the hot water is running and just thinking. Letting go of my thoughts and feelings, and just relaxing.

While sitting there today, I thought about my future.
I'm in my last year of what we call gymnasium. It's like highschool. I've got:

80 days left until I'm finished with school and exams
44 days left until my first exam
21 days of regular school left
10 exams + 3 test exams

And I just can't wait!

But what to do afterwards. There are so many things I want to do.
I want to travel around the world, I want to try all sorts of extreme sports, I want to take my drivers licence, I want to take my diving certificate, I want to dive with sharks, I want to join military for 4 months, I want get a good paying job, I want to make more of my own short film projects, I want to work on a real film production, I want to move to the states. I want to experience life.

Man oh man I can't wait!!!

It's nice having a smile for once. Not because my problems have gotten better. Not at all. But some times there's just less of the bad stuff than other days.
Smiling is nice! =)

Dream world

So, I managed to completely hit the bottom. Everything just fell a part, and there was nothing I could do about it. More and more things piled up inside me, until I finally broke down.
It felt like nothing I have ever felt before, I couldn't see any way out of it.
It felt worse than I had ever tried before, which of course is a lie. But it's been a month since last time I felt so down.

But crying helps. Am feeling better now. Luckily.

I was asked what helped me keep my head up. What gave me energy to get through the day. What put a little smile on my face. What convinced me that there will be an end to this.
Well, I dream a lot. I'm constantly living in my own little dream world. Dreaming about my future, about how things should be. Dreaming about a better world.
I got a wild imagination.



"I kept dreaming of a world I thought I'd never see. And then one day, I got in" - Kevin Flynn, Tron